By Janalle Goosby
Love is in the air this season, and with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it is important to spread the love… to friends, significant others and, most importantly, yourself. Our culture has been trained to obsess about significant others on this day, showering them with gifts and endless love. While this is certainly not a bad thing, it is surely not the most important thing.
Valentine’s Day is about love, and if you don’t love yourself, how could you possibly love someone else?
Whether you are single, in a fling or in a committed relationship, here are some tips to show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day!
If you are single, like me, you often dread this day. It seems that everyone around you can’t stop gushing about dinner plans with their “boo” or what overpriced gifts they plan on exchanging. But don’t let this day get you down. Spend this day, usually reserved for spoiling others, to spoil yourself.
Buy yourself those flowers you like, or that necklace you’ve been wanting, because let’s face it, no one knows you better than yourself, and you’re guaranteed to get yourself exactly what you want.
Spend this time reflecting on your personal life and evaluating how happy you are. Think about your past relationships and think about how much you’ve grown and learned — you could even write yourself a love letter. It may sound cheesy, but it’s worth it! We are not the same people we were five years ago, one year ago or even yesterday. Take time to understand your past, appreciate what you have and who you are in the present, and set goals for yourself in the future.
Sometimes, there are those relationships where you don’t know where it stands; either it’s way too early to tell if the relationship has a future, or it’s an ongoing, off-and-on situation. Whichever it may be, it’s very beneficial to take some time to yourself and evaluate what it is that you want. This could be the push you need to finally tell your crush your feelings, your best friend that you want to be more than friends, or your hookup buddy that you want something more.
Think of Valentine’s Day as the New Year’s Eve for your love life. Make resolutions for what you want to accomplish, like having more confidence in approaching other people, wanting a stable relationship or loosening up and having more fun. Find out what you really want and start going for it.
But if you’re in a committed relationship, you’ve been through this routine before. You’ve gotten the flowers, the chocolates and the dinner. So, maybe it’s time to mix things up. It’s easy to fall into a routine and maybe lose yourself a bit, especially if you’ve been in an intimate relationship for a while. I’m not saying ditch your sweetie (that could end badly), but I am encouraging some time to remember who you are outside of the relationship. Before your plans at night, take some time earlier in the day to prep. Go to the spa for a facial and some pampering. It will give you time to think about how happy you make yourself and remember how much fun you are. Go to lunch with friends; show them that you haven’t forgotten about them, even though you’re in a relationship. You’ll rediscover your independence in the process. Lastly, set some new goals for your relationship, new things that you can try together, and evaluate your happiness within the relationship. Make sure you are still satisfied with the way things are going in your life.
The best was to guarantee a successful Valentine’s Days is to show yourself some love, no matter your relationship status. Bettering yourself now will only lead to better relationships in the future. Take yourself out for dinner, pamper yourself, do all the things that you want to do, because if you’re not happy, there is no way to make anyone else happy.