So you’re single. Are you ready to mingle, though? Let me answer that question for you: yes. Don’t get me wrong, being single is actually great, and it certainly does not mean you are alone. I do think it is important for everyone to be single for a good chunk of time in their life so they can grow as a person, not being solely dependent on anyone else. But for the sake of this article, let’s say you have a good footing on who you are without the help of someone else. It’s time to have a little fun- it’s time to find that someone special.
First of all, let’s be honest. These days (especially at a Big Ten University like Madison) it is not easy to find “the one.” Sure, a guy and a girl can meet and fall madly in love while standing in line at Fresh Market or sitting next to each other in Economics, but the likelihood of that happening is next to nothing. Then there’s the troubling topic of weekends: Friday nights turn into Saturdays pissing away alcohol at the KK and Saturdays turn into groggy, hangover-filled Sundays in which you are stuck facing reality. So how do you get the guy in the craziness of a college atmosphere? While we all can agree that meeting a guy at a bar is far from ideal, it is the reality many of us face and we have to make the most of it.
After compiling a little bit of research from the opposite sex themselves, there are a couple of things to be aware of when on the prowl. While I can’t guarantee you will meet your prince charming, you’ll at least have a better chance.
So in girl-world, there seems to be this unwritten rule: thou shalt never approach a gentleman first, but shalt let him do the approaching. I, along with my fellow male-research specimens want to declare to the world that said rule is “Bullsh**”. Ladies, if you are out with your lady friends and a guy catches your eye at the bar, GO FOR IT. First of all, what is there to lose? Secondly, more times than not, a guy will be too focused on his other shenanigans to even notice you (let’s not start the pity party—it’s just the truth).
Now that you have the courage to go up to him, what comes next? Lightly joke or compliment the guy on what he is wearing. It gets the conversation going and feeds their confidence. If you are more of an introvert, send a friend over instead. It’s as simple as “Hey my friend, thinks your friend is cute.” While you may be thinking that this act is very ‘middle school’, let me just remind you that men are too dim (no offense) to think of it in that way. Don’t over analyze anything, just do it.
“I applaud girls who approach me. For example, I was in Miami, got approached, danced with the girl and it led to a good conversation. There is always a tiny insecurity when I approach a girl that she will deny me. A guy will never flat out deny a girl. He may guide the conversation to end shortly but unlike girls, he will not try to get away. I really think girls have nothing to lose.”
If you are just not the type to make the first move—which I urge you to do— instead present yourself in a way that makes you easily approachable. Don’t be that girl who is loud, knows she’s loud, and wants to make it known to everyone in the bar that she is having fun. Also, be well dressed. When asked about the subject, Daryl, 21, says, “Don’t be the guy wearing Abercrombie. Be the guy wearing Ralph Lauren.” While it does not necessarily mean to be as materialistic, take care in how you present yourself. Moreover, when you’re with a pack of girls, let yourself slip away to get a drink at the bar. Out of all men I interviewed, they agree it is easier to approach a girl alone because “a group of girls requires tag-teaming and coordination and that takes a lot of work.”
In addition, 80 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. Tanner, 20, says, “It’s all in how she looks at you. If a girl gives you a look that she is ‘hot shit,’ I’m like ‘OH hell no.’ Then, on the other spectrum, don’t hide behind your girlfriends either. It’s all in the ‘welcome glance.’” Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but if you are falling into those unwanted categories, maybe think about how you are presenting yourself and how others are viewing it.
I cannot promise you McDreamy or McSteamy after taking into account some of these tidbits of guidance. I can say, however, you will definitely get noticed and at the very least have more knowledge about man-world. On that note, go get’em tiger.