This Not That: Drunk Food

by Andrew Connor, Lifestyle Writer

We all know that, while under the influence of alcohol, we can feel tempted by a lot of things: cigarettes, more alcohol, and even the company of a stranger. One of the biggest drunk temptations, though, is food.  Fast food joints are cashing in on this and are often stay open late for the influx of partygoers coming in to get their fix after a long night of half hearted flirting and misguided confidence.

But like many things we do while we’re drunk, there is often regret.  Fast food portions are way too high and are full of unnecessary fat and calories. Thus, we are often left feeling sick and ashamed (assuming you didn’t feel that way to begin with).  However, there is a solution. By stocking your refrigerator in advance, you can have some tasty and healthy alternatives to some of Madison’s most popular drunk food locations.

This-  Morning Star Black Bean Burger on Wheat Bun with Pepper Jack Cheese

Calories: 310

Fat: 12g


Not That- McDonalds Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Calories: 750

Fat: 43g


McDonalds is such a popular drunk food location that it is now open 24 hours a day. If you value your wallet and your figure, I suggest owning a package of frozen black bean burgers.  They heat up in the microwave in no time and are great with pepper jack cheese on a wheat bun.  For a little extra flavor, a small amount salsa and ranch dressing will go great with it; just be sure to use them sparingly.

This- Chicken Salad Wrap

Calories: 240

Fat: 4.5


Not That- Qdoba Chicken Burrito with Queso

Calories: 1150

Fat: 46g


If you go out on a Friday or Saturday night and feel in the mood for a little Tex-Mex, you’ll find that Qudoba is packed full with hungry, inebriated college students.  It is clearly a popular choice, but it’s also a disgustingly unhealthy one. You are likely to feel bloated and regretful afterwards.  Instead, make some of this tangy chicken salad in advance and keep it in your refrigerator.  When you come home after a night of partying, spoon some onto a wheat tortilla.  Granted, you get much more food from Qudoba, but the disparity in fat and calorie content between the two is so great that you can have two (or even three) servings and come out ahead.

This- Pillsbury Blueberry Toaster Strudel

Calories: 170

Fat: 7g


Not That- Greenbush Blueberry Old Fashioned Doughnut

Calories: 280

Fat: 17g


Finally, for those of you who have a sweet tooth, Greenbush doughnuts are among some of the most incredible things you will eat. Although they are great they’re better enjoyed once in a blue moon. Instead, consider enjoying a blast from the past by having a box of Toaster Strudels handy.  While, per gram, they are not significantly better than doughnuts from Greenbush, having two strudels is much better than having two doughnuts. This is especially true if they’re the even higher calorie Oreo doughnuts or unnecessarily massive apple fritters.

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