Hooking up in college? Easy. Dating in college? Not as easy; however, it is feasible. Knowing what college guys are actually thinking when it comes to hooking up and dating? Flipping impossible. Not only is the idea of love and dating a force to be reckoned with already, but the second alcohol steps into the picture, the lines between hooking up and true interest become even more blurred (literally).
The actual definition of dating in college can sometimes become obscure as well. Sometimes it’s easy for girls to think that just because they are sleeping with a guy repeatedly means that they are in fact exclusive. However for guys that is often not the case. Guys may seem to only be interested when they are hooking up. Though I found through some of my poor choices in my past that this is at times the case, this myth can easily be debunked. A plethora of fine men here at Madison lead me to believe that guys actually do have a good head on their shoulders. For those of us girls who have been left with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, sobbing at The Notebook, because of those douchebag, pigheaded men (boys), this fact may come as a surprise. The key to any guy’s heart is to know what to do and what not to do in certain situations when actually looking to date in college.
If you have hooked up with a guy and then realize he is someone you want to get to know on a more intimate level, have you already ruined your chance? Thankfully, the answer is no. You have most certainly not. It is definitely not smart to continue sleeping with multiple people, but one single hook up does not lead to disaster. If a guy felt some sort of connection too, he will contact you again to find another time to hang out. Finding quality sober-time with a previous hook up and being able to hang out without hooking up will show the guy that you both have a mutual emotional interest in each other.
Texting: perhaps a clichéd topic, but a necessary one. Girls and guys alike spend hours on end waiting for the ‘Apple’ of their eye’s name to appear on their iPhone screen. What does it mean if that name does or does not appear? When it comes to hooking up, make sure the guy texts first and don’t be worried if it is not the next morning. Give it a few days to simmer and they will text you eventually, especially if they follow the “3 Day” bro code. If they end up not texting you, they obviously are not the right guy to be talking to anyway. Once at a deeper connection though, it is acceptable for the girl to be the one to text the guy. In fact, it is much appreciated. Guys like to see that the effort is going both ways. If a guy sees that a girl texts first, it gives them the leeway to make the next move. Be careful about starting a conversation too late at night, the sometimes hollow brains of guys may take this as a booty call invitation.
Most guys will define cheating in college as making out or hooking up with another girl. Flirting is “highly frowned upon” but still acceptable due to the understanding that college is all about meeting and talking with new people. If you are not mutually exclusive with a guy, make sure to express your interest in him or else he will assume that it is okay to continue to look for other girls.
For a man’s perspective on this topic, check out this recent article from Moda.