How To Make Long Distance Work
By Bella Mandarino, Contributing Writer
I never expected to be in a long-distance relationship. I always valued my freedom and wanted the chance to explore this big, wide world once I got to college—without any strings attached. However, I found myself unable to deny that I had someone in my life that I couldn’t fathom letting go of.
As the move-in date at our separate universities approached, the thought of leaving my partner was too great a feat for me to conquer. Long distance was never a part of my plan, but then again, neither was he. I couldn’t predict the outcome of going to college 265 miles apart from my person. My family and friends told me that long distance would be challenging and painful and not worth my time.
Nonetheless, I decided to throw caution to the wind and take a chance. It wasn’t easy to begin and it still is a struggle every day. However, once we adjusted the relationship to accommodate our new lives, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
If the long-distance blues are getting you down, try some of these tips to keep the passion alive and help the relationship flourish—no matter what distance separates you two.
Call or Video Chat Often
While texting is a great way to keep in touch 24/7, talking to your partner face-to-face allows you to connect better. Take time out of each day to have a quality conversation, dedicating attention and care towards each other.
Surprise Each Other with Small Gestures
There are plenty of delivery services ranging from something small, like snacks and cookies, to bigger surprises, such as edible arrangements and flowers. Whatever price range you are comfortable with, send your S/O a little something to brighten up their day and show them how much you care.
Take Time to Set Aside a Few Ground Rules
Being apart may evoke some new territory in the relationship. Some couples prefer to have an open relationship, while others prefer to stay exclusive. Let your partner know what you are comfortable with so there are no misunderstandings.
Send Handwritten Letters
While it might be considered old-fashioned, it really shows that you care when you take the time to create something heartfelt for your special someone. Sending a letter will make your partner light up and provide a special form of communication that you wouldn’t have when you’re together.
Visit When You Can
Depending on the distance, it can be difficult to visit each other often. However, it is important to maintain that in-person contact whenever you can. Meeting up one-on-one will help to reestablish your bond.
When Visiting, Plan Adventurous Dates
Go on a hike as the sun rises, hit the ski slopes or relax at the beach—no matter what, plan a day that is out of the ordinary for both of you. When you aren’t together, you can look back on the exciting day you had with fond memories that were worth the wait.
Don’t Forget to Show Love
When living apart, it is easy to get swept up in your own lives. Remind your partner how deeply you care for them, giving them affirmations so they know that those feelings are still as strong as ever.
Have Open and Honest Communication
Over time, the distance can bring up stronger feelings of love than were already there, or it can bring up some unsettling feelings of uncertainty. Openly—but kindly—communicating with one other will keep you both on the same page, and addressing those feelings will ultimately strengthen the relationship.
Plan Vacations
Whenever both of your schedules line up for a getaway, take a romantic trip together! After so much time apart, spending quality time together at a new destination will reboot your relationship. Make new memories and enjoy an inseparable week together.
Choose Someone Worth the Struggle
No matter the relationship, long distance is always difficult. It hurts to be away from the people we love. Make sure the person you embark on this journey with is someone who is worth the heartache.
If you’re struggling to decide if this path is for you, know that it’s okay to ditch the idea. You might try it out and it doesn’t work for either of you. Maybe the relationship starts making life harder than it needs to be—it might be best to let that person go. I thought it would be difficult for me to decide whether or not long distance was for me, but once I met my partner, I knew that there was no other option. Love isn’t something we choose. It falls into our laps and we simply adjust our lives to accommodate to it.
At the end of the day, we have to evaluate our life by what’s best for us and do those the things that serve ourselves. If that means keeping that special someone around, hang in there! It’s never easy for anyone, but it’s worth it if they’re worth it.