“I’m Telling Mom”
A letter to fellow oldest daughters
By Tessa Devine, Lifestyle Staff Writer
Dear oldest daughters,
I’ll settle the debate right now—older siblings have it the hardest (I’m the oldest of four so I may be a little biased). Now don’t get me wrong, there are parts about being the oldest that I’ve absolutely enjoyed: meeting milestones first, feeding my brother a bottle before school, driving my sister to piano lessons. There’s nothing quite like having younger siblings to look out for and help take care of, but sometimes I didn’t want a shadow tirelessly following me around. There were parts of being the oldest I didn’t particularly love growing up: the unpaid babysitting, the expectation to be a role model, the higher expectations in general.
One thing I used to hate about being the oldest was the stereotype that came with it… that we’re bossy, cocky and stubborn. I think the real reason I disliked these stereotypes so much is that, deep down, I knew that they were pretty accurate. At least for me.
The way many of us were raised and the roles we played in our families have set us up well for life. May as well embrace the bossy older sister stereotype. So with that being said…remember these super badass things about yourself as you go about your day!
We’re adaptive.
Growing up my mom always used to say to me, “you’re my first pancake.” And you know what they say about pancakes… you always burn the first one. Your firsts as the oldest child are also your caretakers’ firsts, at least from a parental role. Along the way, parents learn to maybe do things differently with the next child. And unfortunately, you don’t have older siblings to help you through these firsts; I didn’t have an older sibling to teach me how to put in a tampon or to tell me which high school teachers were the good ones. Because of this, older siblings generally learn to be independent and are more comfortable dealing with newness, at least compared to their younger siblings.
We’re used to being a leader.
All the unpaid babysitting might have paid off. My whole life I’ve always had three little shadows following close behind me (even though they’d never admit it to you). As the oldest, we’re used to having people look up to us and being held to a higher standard. This simple fact might make you more comfortable in a leadership role as an adult.
Statistically, we’re the most likely to succeed.
Make sure to rub this one in your younger sibling’s face. Eldest daughters are 4% more likely to pursue higher education than eldest sons, who are the second most likely to pursue this (Jacobson, 2014). Studies also found that oldest siblings are 7% more ambitious than kids born later (Jacobson, 2014). This might have to do with the fact that older children usually got more attention than their siblings at some point since they were once an only child. Generally speaking, if the age gap between the oldest child and their sibling is four years or greater, then they are even more likely to pursue advanced degrees (Dockterman, 2014). Fun fact: Beyoncé, Emma Watson and Taylor Swift are all the oldest in their family (Mulshine, 2018). Need I say more?
Of course, there are exceptions to all of these traits…and even if you’re the oldest daughter, you might not identify with all of them. But regardless, being the oldest sister is bound to have some sort of impact on you…whether it was your relationship with your parents, your siblings or both. We guinea pig kids have to stick together.
Lots of love,
A fellow oldest daughter <3
Sources:
Wofford, Chris (2018, January 24). “Women are “Bossy” and Men are “Decisive” – eCornell #IMPACT.” eCornell #IMPACT
Jacobson, Roni (2014, May 1). “Firstborn Girls Most Likely to Succeed - Scientific American Blog Network.” Scientific American Blogs
Dockterman, Eliana (2014, April 29). “Firstborn Girls Are the Most Likely to Succeed, According to a Study.” TIME
Mulshine, Molly (2018, September 10). “Celebrities Who Are the Oldest Child.” Insider