Manic Pixie Dream Boy
Get your head out of the clouds.
By Jessica Katz, Online Editor
Beware the Manic Pixie Dream Boy. He’s quirky, attractive and misunderstood. He is so deeply in love with you that it scares him, but he will be there for you whenever you need him. Anna Breslaw, who coined the term back in 2015, describes him as "the self-mythologizing 'free-spirited' dude who’s determined to make your life magical, whether you want it or not.”
Think of him as a spin on the trope of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, a whimsical female love interest whose sole purpose is to support the sad boy hero (Rabin, 2014). Rabin coined the term in his review of 2005’s Elizabethtown in describing the cheerful, bubbly flight attendant played by Kirsten Dunst. The list goes on, from Zooey Deschanel in Yes Man to Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Manic Pixie Dream Girl Movies, 2018).
Although Rabin claims that the MPDG “exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors,” the well-known pop-culture cliché has harmful real-world implications (Rabin, 2014). If real life imitates fiction, then the MPDG creates the idea of a woman’s role as the supporting actress in a man’s life. She’s a sort of magical human, existing to guide him through life, to save him. She’s the product of male fantasy, and that is highly problematic. These women deserve not only to feel like the lead characters of their lives but to be loved for their depth.
When it comes to the MPDB, what makes him different is that he doesn’t care about the rules; he has no responsibility for his actions. Although we root for him and love his charm, he might profess his love, then disappear immediately. Or he gets bored. Or he dies.
The MPDB was recognized earliest as Augustus Waters (played by Ansel Elgort) from 2014’s The Fault in Our Stars (Guthrie, 2019). Other examples include Jughead from Riverdale, Jack Dawson from Titanic and Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation.
What characterizes an MPDB? He has some kind of visual quirk; he wears beanies, ripped skinny jeans or band tees. He has offbeat habits, like putting a cigarette in his mouth but never lighting it… *cough cough, Augustus Waters. He’s often branded as a “loser” or an “outsider” by his peers, but you think he’s the coolest person you’ve ever met. It may be his sarcasm or sense of rebellion that stands out to you, but above all, he loves you for you (Guthrie, 2019).
Off-screen, celebrity MPDBs have wifed up the gorgeous women of Hollywood. Think Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian. Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian. The unlikely coupling of these A-List ladies and more grungy men has become a trend, and they continue to be a topic of public interest.
Many believe Kourtney and Travis are simply not destined to last, that their relationship burns bright but will fade away. They also see Megan and MGK as living on two separate universes, and Kim and Pete as being a publicity stunt. Gossip or not, maybe there remains truth behind these statements.
It’s every teenage girl’s dream to be a rockstar’s girlfriend. These women, along with their fame and fortune, get to live out this dream. It’s a status that comes with backstage passes, drunken paparazzi photos and, most notably for famous families like the Kardashians, increased exposure. I mean, we’re practically forced to watch them love publicly and shamelessly.
Not to mention, entering a relationship with an MPDB can also act as an escape (Lee, 2021). Rather than dealing with ex Scott Disick’s string of barely-legal girlfriends, Kourtney is being spoiled with exquisite vacations and a 12-carat engagement ring (Petak, 2021). Similarly, her sister Kim has traded navigating ex Kanye’s presidential bids for more light-hearted date nights. And honestly, who can blame them?
I get it, the idea of dating a grungy, scruffy, tattoo-covered rockstar sounds exhilarating, seeing him flash a smile at me as I dance in the audience of his live shows. I look up to the relationships of Devon Lee Carlson and The Neighbourhood’s Jesse Rutherford, Emma Chamberlain and ROLE MODEL. While I admit, the way these male musicians demonstrate their deep and passionate love for their girlfriends through their music is admirable, idolizing the aesthetic of these relationships perpetuates the MPDB troupe beyond film. The relationships may be real, but if we continue to perceive them as ideal, we foolishly aim for a life that is not attainable to most.
The dynamic of these relationships is not meant to last. It’s time we admit that the idea of an MPDB is not only highly unrealistic but also toxic (Miller & Brander, 2021). Just as the MPDG is based on outdated gender roles, the trope places pressure on men to be more eccentric and unconventional.
MPDBs affect women as well; while there is value in embracing your inner child and taking life less seriously, the trope romanticizes the idea of throwing all personal and career goals away to be with someone. Yes, he’s charming and beautiful, but ultimately he’s an immature man-child that’s unable to commit to anything.
Having an MPDB may be fun for a while, but he’s merely a gateway to an unsustainable life. He enters your life when you need him most and stays for as long as is necessary for you to grow in some way, but he’s most likely not your forever. He puts you on a pedestal and helps you let your guard down, and you definitely deserve that. But healthy relationships are more balanced, deep and truthfully, sometimes messy. Have your fun, but eventually perhaps get your head out of the clouds.
Sources:
Breslaw, A. (2015, September 13). Beware the Manic Pixie Dream Boyfriend. The Cut.
Rabin, N. (2014, July 15). I'm sorry for coining the phrase "Manic Pixie Dream Girl". Salon.com.
Manic Pixie Dream Girl Movies. (2018, July 18). IMDb.
Guthrie, S. (2019, March 26). The Manic Pixie Dream Boy: The 2019 Male Movie Lead. ELLE Australia.
Lee, S. (2021, November 24). The Depressive Demon Nightmare Boy: 2021's Hottest Relationship Trend - Travis Barker Pete. L'OFFICIEL USA.
Petak, T. (2021, October 20). Everything You Need to Know About Kourtney Kardashian's Stunning Engagement Ring. Brides.
Miller, A., & Brander, I. (2021, January 25). The Manic Pixie Dream Boyfriend Must Die. No Film School.