To The White Gays: Take A Seat
Written by Gylf Forsberg, Culture Staff Writer
Gylf Forsberg photographed by Katie Herrick, Culture Editor
Since high school, the month of June has always been one of my favorite months. June is often designated as queer pride month, and I take full pride in my identity. This past June was the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall Riots: a series of protests in New York City surrounding the unfair treatment of queer spaces by the New York Police Department.
In this historic year, many people took time to look to the past as much as to the future, and it caused me to look introspectively on my reactions to my identity over the years. I realized that I was sometimes playing the victim, regardless of the fact that I have never really faced any discrimination of great effect. Because, while I may be gay, I am still a white, moderately passing, middle-class, cissexual man.
I have never had discrimination put against me when finding a job, I have never been put out of my house for who I am. When looking at my experience, I found that it was more important for me to be an ally for other members of my community, rather than dwelling on the one time someone called me a f*ggot in high school.
Allyship is always an interesting identity within several spaces—not just queer spaces. People love to stand up and say, “I’m an ally! Look at me and how ‘woke’ I am.” But some of these same people are not doing anything tangible to progress the fight for the rights of these oppressed individuals they are supposed allies of.
Saying that everyone deserves basic human rights does not make you an ally, it just makes you not an asshole.
Allyship is a lifelong process of building relationships, offering support and upholding values of inclusion and activism for marginalized individuals. To be a strong ally, you must actively fight for people unlike you, and not just retort that what is happening is wrong. You must fight for each person, not just the person who makes the most perfect picture to be portrayed by the media.
One of the most important points of allyship is to recognize that you are not being oppressed. This is something that I have had to teach myself, and must still constantly remind myself of. There is no benefit in manipulating my narrative to revolve around the small amount of discrimination I have faced that pales in comparison to others’ experiences.
I realized that it is important to utilize the several privileges that make up my identity to support other individuals in my community. I am able to use the fact that I am a white man, and that people will gravitate to listening to me because of that, to bring attention to my brothers and sisters in the community who are often overlooked, passing the mic to them once we have that attention.
It is incredibly important, however, to ensure that the white, privileged voice does not dominate the narrative. In allyship, you must inherently take a backseat and allow the true story to be told.
Throughout time, queer history has been painted by white, cis-men—while prominent figures in the fight throughout time have been the exact opposite. Trans-women of color have consistently lead the fight for queer rights throughout history.
Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera were prominent figures in the Stonewall riots, and while it is uncertain if they threw the first brick at the riot, their bricks broke the most windows. Individuals like these powerful women have historically been glossed over by pictures of white men holding rainbow flags.
I am not saying that contributions made by white men are not important—Harvey Milk was a key figure in the queer rights movement in the 1980s—I am just saying that these are not the only things that need to be discussed. As members of any community, it is imperative to ensure that the story is not only reflective of people that look like you. Being an ally means allowing others to speak and not allowing yourself to dominate the conversation.
In this way, I urge all of you to be an ally in every way possible. Be an ally for communities in which you do not associate. Be an ally for those less represented than you. Be an ally for those who cannot speak up. But above all be a true ally.