You Can Change Your Mind
By Molly Rapozo, Lifestyle Editor
The kids in my neighborhood growing up were all good friends. There was a group of about five of us, including me and my little brother, and we would all meet to play Polly Pockets or Barbies on a regular basis in someone’s basement, on a rotation. One basement was harder to play at than the rest, not because it was colder or damper or scarier, but because we weren’t allowed to change our minds.
I remember sitting around playing Barbies and one of us—probably my brother, the least-interested in dolls—suggested an alternative, like going outside or playing hide-and-seek. Shot down immediately by the girl whose house we were at, we still tried to change the tune of the game. We were met with an upset mother stomping down the stairs to hiss at us, “You can’t change your mind, that’s not how it works.”
Yes, if you’re wondering, a woman in her mid-40s did tell my friends and me, all under 10 years old, this and yes, it has haunted me forever.
Something about that woman always scared me, maybe it’s because her image lingers in my head as a woman with snakes for hair and fangs instead of regular teeth and sun-bleached tissue paper for skin, ouch! That’s a story for another day. But those words were no exception to the fear instilled. That stupid phrase has carried significant emotional impact for whatever reason, despite my mother’s countless attempts to try and assure us that being yelled at for having an opinion was groundless.
To this day, I mean actually to this exact day, I still have those words lingering back in some dusty corner, only to be pulled out when I am really spiraling. It has gotten to the point that if I change my approach to something ever-so-slightly I meet myself with a, “That’s not how it works.” Any time I have a change in opinion or feelings I get this shrill, nasty voice telling me that I am wrong.
It’s hard to change your mind, especially when you’re changing how you’re approaching a delicate situation, how you feel about someone, how you feel about something that is controversial or maybe even how you feel to just be different than you were before. It’s unsettling to stray from your “norm.”
Why is it so hard? Well, truthfully, it’s a breach in character. What was once so well thought-out, so defined and so clearly “us” has now become a seemingly different person entirely, even though you’re the one making the decision. When you change your mind you essentially betray yourself. You no longer recognize yourself in the mirror.
If I’ve learned anything in college—which, I hope I would?—I’ve learned that I am absolutely, 100 percent going to change my mind a lot of the time. My biggest attributes, characteristics and feelings that have defined me have flipped so many times I can’t even remember where I started. We make decisions and sometimes they’re exactly right—until more information comes to light or some outside factor makes us think through it just one last time to realize that it isn’t. Sometimes, it’s just time revealing truths we didn’t know or didn’t understand.
Those types of changes are a huge blow to the ego. But accepting them as what they are, the new norm, is what takes the sourness out of it. Disarm the scary woman that lingers and tell her that, “I am changing my mind, screw Polly Pockets. We’re going outside and we are going to see the light of a new day.”