Love Languages in Film
Iconic television couples and their love languages
By June Glenney, Contributing Writer
Film is one of the most beautiful and meaningful displays of love. We often become invested in the romance we see on-screen and can learn more than we might think from it. Here are some of the world’s favorite television couples and how they show their love for one another, specifically through one of the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of servitude, gifts and physical touch (Nguyen, 2022).
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are for people who value verbal acknowledgment of affection (Nguyen, 2022). Two young children, each an outcast in their own respective worlds, Sam and Suzy from “Moonrise Kingdom” illustrate this love language perfectly. The two first meet when Sam, a stray boy scout, wanders into the dressing room of Suzy, dressed as a raven as a part of the play “Noye’s Fludde” being performed at their church. The words “what kind of bird are you” are the first of many, as they begin to write letters back and forth, divulging their feelings of loneliness and outsider status in each of their lives (Anderson, 2012). These exchanges eventually evolve into a plan to run away together, which steers the rest of the movie and the upheaval of their New England island, New Penzance.
Wes Anderson’s magical world of “Moonrise Kingdom” is made even more special by the unique love shared between these two children. Being so young at the time, Suzy and Sam exchanged little physical touch or gifts, yet they proved their love through undying commitment and reassurance in the form of words of affirmation. Looking back at our younger selves, we often realize we might not have felt as strongly as we thought we did at the time or meant everything we said. Yet the drastic, vulnerable nature of a relationship between two young people is inimitable. The purity and innocence of a young love paired with the dramatic “us against the world'' mentality that Sam and Suzy develop on their expedition together is something truly remarkable and beautifully nostalgic.
Quality Time
Quality time is for those who desire presence and attention (Nguyen, 2022). Ennis and Jack of “Brokeback Mountain” are a perfect example of quality time as a love language. The two first meet at 19, working together as sheep-herding cowboys on a job on Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming. Initially fear, societal expectations and internalized homophobia cause their relationship to consist only of gruff exchanges, but one cold night finally forces them to sleep together in a tent, where they can no longer ignore their true feelings.
Time goes on and both Ennis and Jack get married, but every few years they continue to leave their wives to meet back up on Brokeback Mountain to spend the week together. This time was all they had of each other, small in amount but huge in importance. They were never able to truly be together, but both understood how much they loved and meant to each other. Time spent fishing, camping and sitting together without speaking was more valuable than any material manifestation. “I wish I knew how to quit you” is one of the most touching quotes of the movie, summing up the feeling of no amount of time with someone you love ever being enough (Lee, 2005). “Brokeback Mountain” ends with both a physical and metaphorical death, showing us just how precious time really is.
Acts of Servitude
Acts of servitude are for those who value actions over words and are touched by sacrifice (Nguyen, 2022). Han Solo and Princess Leia of “Star Wars” illustrate a galactic take on this love language. The two were stubborn in opening up to each other; even when Princess Leia finally does say “I love you,” Han replies with “I know.” While this response may seem underwhelming, their unique connection allows Leia to understand exactly what Han meant. Their love was very much unspoken, but they both felt it without frequently expressing it through words. Instead, they both take huge risks for the other, proving their love through sacrifice.
What Han and Leia lack in typical mushy romance, they make up for in dangerous missions across the galaxy. The two quite literally risk their lives for each other time and time again. From Leia rescuing Han from carbonite in Jabba the Hutt's palace to Han sweeping her out of Darth Vader’s evil clutches, they go above and beyond acts of servitude. Together, Han Solo and Princess Leia make one of the most strikingly selfless couples both in space and on Earth.
Gifts
People who speak this love language appreciate material symbols of love and value the effort behind them (Nguyen, 2022). The iconic back-and-forth nature of Chuck and Blair in “Gossip Girl” is marked by many near misses and grand gestures throughout the series. Their attraction to each other is undeniable, but for the longest time, both refuse to admit it. Those certain “three words, eight letters” are unspoken, yet it’s what they both want to hear from each other more than anything (Buckley, 2009). After Blair finally lays down her heart, Chuck refuses to be vulnerable in return. Just when we think the two are done for good this time, she finds him leaning against his limo, the site of many of their most intimate moments, holding an abundance of her favorite things. Her favorite macarons from Pierre Hermé in Paris, her favorite Falke stockings from Germany and a bouquet of peonies, her favorite flower.
This scene left us in awe and wishing we had someone who loved us quite enough to travel all around Europe for our favorite gifts. It was a monumental moment for Blair and Chuck due to his historic inability to communicate his feelings for her. Despite the fact that he did end up supplementing the gifts with those three little words, this grand gesture already told her everything she needed to know. Chuck’s difficulty to be vulnerable was countered by the great lengths he went to show his love for Blair through nonverbal tactics. As a girl with expensive taste, we know Blair expected no less.
Physical Touch
Rue and Jules from “Euphoria” illustrate the love language of physical touch, which is for those who value physical affection as a way of being close to their partner (Nguyen, 2022). Rue and Jules started out as friends, and physical touch was an important part of their relationship from the start. From the moment they met, they spent every day together, cautiously exploring their relationship through the form of friends. Their love language began to unfold with sleepovers, holding hands, forehead kisses and riding on a bike together until taking a romantic turn. Even before their feelings for each other were vocalized, the two were always very touchy and affectionate, characterizing the exceptionally sweet and innocent nature of their love.
Even in the transition from friends to lovers, Rue and Jules maintained the soft, playful style of loving. Their story is a beautiful spin on the purity and uninhibited nature of female friendship turned into more than friends. The friends-to-lovers pipeline is both loveable and dangerous, as illustrated by their relationship eventually crumbling. Despite the fact that season two of “Euphoria” absolutely ruined them, Rue and Jules undoubtedly had something very special.
There is no one correct answer to the love language equation. Any person, real or television character, can value and seek out any combination of the five or enjoy all of the above. Take notes from these iconic couples and figure out your favorite way to speak love.
Sources:
Anderson, W. (Director). (2012). Moonrise Kingdom [Film]. American Empirical Pictures
Buckley, N. (Director). (2009). Gossip Girl [Television broadcast]. Warner Bros. Television
Lee, A. (Director). (2005). Brokeback Mountain [Film]. River Road Entertainment
Levinson, S. (Director). (2019). Euphoria [Television broadcast]. HBO
Lucas, G. (Director). (1977). Star Wars [Film series]. Lucasfilm
Nguyen, J., 2022. Why Everyone's Talking About Love Languages These Days & How To Find Yours. mindbodygreen.