“That Girl” Isn’t Perfect
How the “that girl” trend is a flawed ideal for young women
Written by Honor Williams, Contributing Writer
TW: Eating disorders, disordered eating, body dysmorphia
There are so many things you should be doing. You have to work out five-plus days a week. You have to eat a whole foods diet that’s locally sourced. You have to get at least eight hours of sleep a night but still wake up at 5 a.m. You have to make green juice, eat overnight oats, meditate, have a perfect skincare routine, journal, go on morning walks, go on night walks and get perfect grades. You have to be perfect.
The concept of perfectionism has been around for a while, but recently it has taken the form of a popular term on social media for young women to look up to: “that girl.” “That girl” wears only a little makeup, eats aesthetic meals and reads for pleasure. “That girl” always has beautifully coordinated outfits, sleek shining hair and nails to match. “That girl” has her life in order and is living up to her fullest, healthiest potential.
In the past year, the “that girl” trend has blown up on YouTube, TikTok and Pinterest, highlighting this vision of perfectionism. “That girl” influencers walk you through their daily routines—making smoothies, going on morning walks, meditating, working out and journaling all while looking put together and completely stress-free. They give you tips on how to get “glowing skin” or “toned abs.” On the outside, being “that girl” looks great, but it is usually staged. It is not attainable for everyone and often has a negative effect on people’s mental health.
YouTuber Emma Macdonald is a great example of someone who has achieved the look and lifestyle but struggles with the weight of maintaining perfection. She vlogs about her life, fitness and mental health, sharing advice and her understanding of what it means to be a young woman in 2021 with her audience. Yet unlike many others, Macdonald was “that girl” before it became popular.
Macdonald is completely transparent about the reality behind what she shows online, and how this isn’t a fully encompassing picture of her life. In April 2020, she posted a video discussing the pressures that are put on young women in today’s society. She opens up about “the pressure that you have to get up” and “work out because everyone else is” (Emma Macdonald, 2020). She stresses the importance of letting her subscribers know that even though her life may look perfect on the outside, she’s in the same boat as everyone else. She has also opened up about her anxiety when it comes to living up to the pressure.
Ultimately, Macdonald is able to achieve the characteristics of “that girl” while still being authentic with her audience, and being honest about how she isn’t “that girl” all the time.
The concept of “that girl” is not a one-size-fits-all model. “That girl” is almost always a white and wealthy girl who follows a specific set of rules; she wears expensive workout clothing, shops at pricey grocery stores and treats herself to coffee on the daily. This isn’t possible for most people, and it can be stressful for people who feel like they can’t fit the mold.
The expectations that surround this kind of trend can be harmful to one's body image as well. YouTuber Hailey Sani walks us through her experience as a girl entering womanhood, one who saw how strict standards could be on social media of what beautiful women need to look like. She says that she “didn’t even know [she] had an eating disorder until looking back at it years later” (Hailey Sani, 2021).
Hailey talks about how she constantly compared herself to other young women in her youth. “This girl on Instagram is perfect. Look at her waist, look at her bubble butt,” she remembers telling her friend (Hailey Sani, 2021). Hailey says that she was eating healthily and working out all the time to “look a certain way,” but not to take care of her body: “No matter how much I worked out I was not satisfied with my body.” She points out that social media “forces you to fit into these standards that are literally impossible to attain,” which greatly affect your mental health and often lead to disordered eating (Hailey Sani, 2021).
While trying to fit the mold of “that girl,” your sense of what it means to be healthy often gets twisted. It’s easy to create a causal relationship in your head that isn’t necessarily a realistic one. For example, you may think that because “that girl” eats avocado toast, you will be skinny like her if you eat avocado toast. This isn’t how food works. In addition, being skinny is not actually an indicator of health. Hailey talks about how she was skinny, but still thought she wasn’t good enough and developed an eating disorder as a result. Yes, “that girl” is depicted as fit and attractive, but fit and attractive does not look or feel the same for all women.
Being “that girl” can be whatever you want it to be. You don’t have to be skinny and drink green juice to achieve it. You can have any body type, and follow whatever diet makes your body feel good. You can wear matching workout sets, or you can wear long flowy skirts and a full face of makeup. You can do yoga or you can spend all day painting, because “that girl” is whatever you want to make her. There is no set definition of perfection, and what is considered perfect right now will change in a few months. You might as well re-define “that girl” for yourself and make her the person that makes you the happiest.
While social media may urge you to be “that girl,” in reality, she isn’t always happy. She doesn’t necessarily feel like she is who she wants to be just because of her label, and she isn’t a good representation of “perfect” for everyone.
Trends like these make it easy to forget what makes us happy as individuals in an attempt to fit the mold. Living a healthy and fulfilling life looks different for everyone: Maybe this means working out and making green juice, or maybe it means trying out for a soccer team or taking a pottery class. Maybe it does mean waking up at 5 a.m, or maybe the perfect fit for you is staying up late because you are most productive at night. Don’t limit yourself to what social media tells us is “healthy” or admirable because at the end of the day, only you can decide how to be the best version of yourself.
Sources:
Emma Macdonald. (April 14, 2020). Let's chat: emotions, struggles, and being positive. Youtube.
Hailey Sani. (January 2, 2021). How I finally learned to love my body (it changed my life). Youtube.