You Are Heather
A reflection on the perfect person
Written by Shannon McManus, Culture Staff Writer
“Why would you ever kiss me?/I’m not even half as pretty, You gave her your sweater/It’s just polyester, But you like her better/Wish I were Heather” (Gray, 2020).
Conan Gray’s (2020) song “Heather” has recently sparked a TikTok trend. The song, about longing to be an attractive, wanted person, resonated with many on the social platform, inspiring users to share their own personal Heather.
This trend first began when TikTok users edited themselves over frames of other people in an attempt to mimic images of conventionally attractive, admirable people. Whether the real people in the images were celebrities or unknown people, they inspired users with their aesthetics and look. The users would stay still covering the image until the last part of the song where they finally revealed who they were embodying over Grey’s “wish I were Heather.” (2020). For some, it became a game to guess who the users were in the videos, but the trend quickly evolved into something more personal.
As the trend gained popularity on TikTok, people began posting the Heather in their own life, through photos or explanations, always ending with Gray’s tune. Heather was often a classmate, friend, or even a sibling who is admired by seemingly everyone the user knows. The wish to be Heather was often deprecating as if the content producer genuinely longed to be someone else.
While Heather is often thought of as someone who is beautiful, they can also be admired for their actions and lifestyle. People not only desire to be beautiful but also good, strong, kind and talented. Heather can be known as the sweetheart that everyone loves, the coolest girl that everyone knows or the smartest guy that everyone is in awe of.
Creators in this trend focused on their desire to be Heather, often putting themselves down in the process. However, the community around these videos showed how it is not all negative. Most of the video’s comments shared one idea一you are Heather too.
Users came to support those doubting themselves by pulling out attributes and characteristics in an attempt to tell the original video producers how admirable they are. By switching the tone of this trend TikTok users were able to build everyone up to be Heather rather than maintaining the self-deprecating tone.
Ultimately, we all have a Heather. But, that doesn’t mean we aren’t Heather as well. We may want to be a Heather, not only because they are known for beauty, smarts, kindness and other traits, but because they are loved and desired. We need to grow towards accepting ourselves and finding our own qualities that we love. While it is encouraging to see people admiring others and lifting them up, it’s not healthy to do it by putting ourselves down. We deserve to see ourselves as Heather because for all we know we are.
Sources:
Conan Gray – Heather. (2020, March 20). Retrieved October 20, 2020, from https://genius.com/Conan-gray-heather-lyrics